Will the child stay in touch with their birth family?

In the past it was believed that adopted children needed a 'clean break', and all ties with the birth family were cut. It is now agreed that many children benefit from a more open attitude towards adoption.

We believe that ongoing contact with the child's birth relatives benefits everyone:

• Children - It is natural for children to be curious about their birth family as they grow up, and many adopted adults have told us that as a child they would have liked information about them. Ongoing contact helps children understand their history and develop a sense of identity, avoiding the trauma they would otherwise experience later in life if they decided to trace their birth family. Contact therefore helps them feel accepted in their adoptive family while at the same time comfortable with their past.
• Adoptive parents - Contact with the birth family will help you understand the child's background and answer any questions they have over the years. Prospective adopters sometimes worry that such contact will make it harder for them to develop a proper parent-child relationship with the child. However, adoptive parents have told us that in practice, it is more likely to boost their relationship by bringing them closer.
• Birth families - Birth families often worry about the child's wellbeing and benefit greatly from reassurance that they are safe and well.

What sort of contact will the child have?

There are two possible forms of contact with the child's birth relatives, the most common being a system called the 'Letterbox' where you exchange letters once or twice a year. To maintain anonymity, these are sent through Plymouth City Council and we check everything to ensure that it doesn't include any inappropriate information (eg. if you accidentally put your address at the top). If you aren't very good at writing or don't know what to write then your social worker can help you. Children cannot use the Letterbox directly and all correspondence is sent to you so you can choose how much to share with them.

Occasionally, it will benefit the child to have face to face contact with people from their past such as brothers and sisters who were placed with separate families, grandparents or previous foster carers. Some children also benefit from direct contact with their birth parents. These meetings generally take place at a neutral venue between one and three times a year and may be supervised by Plymouth City Council. We will help you plan such meetings and can help with any expenses.

Every situation is unique and all children need different forms of contact with people from their past. Before you adopt, your social worker will work with you, the child and the birth parents to decide what is both in the child's best interests and acceptable for everyone concerned. You will then make a voluntary arrangement with the child's birth family.

Links and further reading