Bullying

What is bullying?

Bullying is aggressive behaviour that is meant to scare or get at other people. People do this by making threats, or by physical force, eg teasing, spreading rumours, not talking to someone, pushing, hitting, kicking, or ruining someone's things.

Many people get into fights and arguments from time to time, and teasing can be done in a spirit of playfulness. However, when this kind of behaviour carries on and on, and involves picking on someone who can't stand up for themselves, this is bullying. And this can become a major problem for everyone concerned.

Is bullying normal?

Many children and young people get involved in bullying at sometime during their school life. They may be bullied themselves, bully someone else, or see a friend being bullied. Most children and young people behave aggressively at some point, but a small amount of children become regular bullies. Like everyone else, they need to learn that it's unfair and wrong to bully other people.

Why do children bully?

Children bully for all sorts of reasons:

• they enjoy the sense of power and think they can get away with it
• they may feel better about themselves and more confident
• they are encouraged by their friends to do it, and it makes them feel popular
• they may not understand or care how much it hurts to be bullied
• they may think the other person deserves or 'is asking for it'

Some bullies maybe bullied themselves and many may have been badly treated by their own families. They may not be very confident in themselves; they might feel under pressure by school or home life. They might be depressed, and deal with their own fears by making other people scared.

Boys and girls can often bully in different ways:

Name calling and teasing are the most common types of bullying, but boys often also use their physical strength to bully others. Girls are more likely to rely on excluding someone from a group or spreading hurtful stories about them. This can be just as upsetting. The important thing to remember is that any type of bullying is very upsetting for the person being bullied.

Does bullying matter?

It can sometimes be difficult for adults to understand how much unhappiness bullying causes especially if the bullying is seen as 'only' teasing. But being constantly teased can make people very unhappy. It can seriously affect schoolwork and attendance at school.

Being picked on makes people feel bad about themselves. Anyone who is bullied for a long time may come to believe they deserve it. Being bullied regularly can be linked with problems later in life too. Some adults who were bullied when they were young find they often get depressed, lack self-confidence and feel resentful.

Bullying matters for the bullies too:

• some may feel isolated and ashamed of the damage they cause
• they may believe they are bad and only worthy of punishment
• they may feel scared no-one is stopping them

Aggressive behaviour which is not effectively sorted out when you are young can sometimes carry on into adult life leading to violence and crime.

The content for this area of the site has been provided by Wired for Health website. The Wired for Health series of websites are funded by the Department of Health and the Department for Education and Skills and managed by the Schools and Young People's Health Team at the Health Development Agency. Crown Copyright, March 2005.