Advice for family and friends of domestic abuse victims

Whether you are a family member, friend or colleague at work, if someone comes to you for help about domestic abuse, listen and don't try to take control. The following points may be helpful to you:

• Take the person seriously and believe what they say
• Be calm and positive
• Respect their wishes at all times - ask what they want
• Give them time to discuss their feelings and needs at their own pace
• Stress that they are not responsible for the abuse and that they are not alone
• Find out if they need medical help
• Do not push them to do anything they are not ready to do. They are probably the best judge of what the best way forward is and what action is safe
• Assist them in making contact with agencies that might be able to help, (such as AHIMSA, Devon and Cornwall Constabulary, Devon County Council, MALE, Victim Support and Women's Aid)
• Help them to keep safe by making a safety plan (a plan of how to prevent or avoid an incident or where to go when one occurs, who to contact in an emergency etc)
• Assure them of your confidentiality. Check whether it is safe to contact them and what the safest way is of keeping in touch
• Do not put yourself in danger by offering to talk to the abuser, or let the abuser see you as a threat to their relationship