Writing fiction by Bill Eaton

Dialogue

Sixth in a series of articles by Bill Eaton.

A story can be told purely in dialogue. This is close to playwriting (although without stage directions and actors' notes), but it is difficult. Dialogue does not provide direct access to inner thoughts or provide immediate sensory perceptions.

Stories can also be told without much dialogue, but there is no need to be afraid of it.

Big and small scenes often rely heavily on dialogue. Dialogue mixed with description is the most common way forward.

In dialogue it is usual to put the words within quotation marks and add a reporting clause or 'tag' (he said, she said) - although this is not necessary if the identities of the speakers are obvious.

There are lots of other ways around the boring 'he said, she said'. For example, accompany the speech with the report of some action or other.

For example, "What could you possibly mean?" Roger stood over me, twiddling his moustache.

It may sound odd, but dialogue is a key way of telling a story through showing, rather than telling. The reader is listening to a conversation and making their own mind up about what is going on.

Dialogue in fiction is not the same as real conversation. In a real conversation sentences are fragmented, sentences are unfinished, details appear mundane and insignificant. In writing fiction, dialogue is another tool to present a story. No word should be there without a reason. Dialogue will not be there for its own sake, but will always be there to illustrate things like character, action, atmosphere, mood and plot.

Dialogue as conversation

To represent conversation, dialogue should not recreate real conversation, it would sound terrible. Dialogue should eliminate the repetitiveness of real talk, and only the significant passages of the conversation should be recorded.

To make dialogue realistic, make each voice distinctive. Through the words you choose you can reveal a character’s region, class, education and style of thinking.

To represent dialect don't overdo it with too many drawls and extended vowels, just one or two words or phrases will do the trick. Also, don’t be afraid to make up verbal tics to create a dialect of your own.

And remember, you can always describe tone, body language and volume outside of the dialogue itself, through description.

Dialogue and character

Dialogue helps develop a character through phrases, manner etc. When you hear a character speak he or she begins to breathe, to take on another dimension.

Dialogue and plot

Dialogue is usually an inefficient way to get information across to the reader; it will often sound false or clunky. Leave this is for the other elements of the story to deal with, through descriptions or summary.

Dialogue, however, can be a great way to dramatise a plot point. It is much better to hear the news of the murder from a character rather than have it summarised by the author, for example.

Dialogue and subtext

Good dialogue will often not directly address the main issues, but talk around them, referring to them obliquely, leaving the reader to make their own mind up.

In the bad film, the fellow says, "hello, Jack, I'm coming over to your home this evening because I need to get the money you borrowed from me." In the good film, he says, "Where the hell were you yesterday?" The less you narrate [in the dialogue], the more the audience is going to say, "wow. What the heck is happening here? What the heck is going to happen next?"

This is a great function for dialogue, using spoken lines to mask what is actually at stake.

As she reached for the light switch she felt a presence in the room. A voice said, "hello Mum." She knew the voice.

"Oh I've missed you," she replied, "and I'm glad to see you, but I'm angry too. Where have you been all this time?"

"I ran off with a boy," said the daughter, "We had a baby together and I didn't want to tell you. Then he left me, but now I'm back. Have you got any money I could borrow?"

Compare the above piece of dialogue with the one below:

As she reached for the light switch she felt a presence in the room. A voice said, "hello Mum." She knew the voice.

"H … h… hell …" she stuttered, as she looked up.

"Well, am I worth a hug?

"A hug?" she said.

"After all these years, aren't I worth even that?"

Exercise one

Write a short dialogue between a policeman and a burglar who pretends to live in the apartment from which he is stealing.

Exercise two

Write a dialogue between two liars, each trying to outdo the other, start with mild exaggerations and work your way up! It is good to see how lies can work in dialogue to generate ideas.

Next

7. Revision

[Back to top]