Writing fiction by Bill Eaton

Revision

Last in a series of articles by Bill Eaton.

Before going into the issue of revision here are a series of quotes from writers on the art. There is a good reason for including so many quotes; revision is important! It is the thing that marks out the accomplished piece of writing from the merely acceptable.

"If the writing cannot be made as good as it is within us to make it, then why do it? In the end, the satisfaction of having done our best, and the proof of that labour, is the one thing we can take into the grave.” Raymond Carver

Hemingway
"I rewrote the ending to Farewell To Arms, the last page of it, thirty-nine times before I was satisfied.

Interviewer
Was there some technical problem there? What was it that had stumped you?

Hemingway
Getting the words right."

"There's no such thing as good writing, but only good rewriting." Mary Hill

"I would expect to spend about eight months writing a first draft, and two years rewriting it." Tim Pears on writing a novel

"There have to be two personalities in every writer: A, who produces first drafts, has to be creative, impetuous, wilful, emotional and sloppy; B, who works on them, has to be argumentative, self-righteous, cautious, rational and effective." Fay Weldon

"Just when I'm most frustrated with my daily writing and the demons of common sense are whispering, "Find another profession, you no-talented hack," I summon up this little secret and the demons vanish like relatives after you announce you need to borrow money. My secret is this: My first few drafts are always crap. Guaranteed." Raymond Obstfeld

"The wastepaper basket is the writer's best friend." Isaac Singer

"Clumsy sentences become graceful; clichés become wit; muddled action becomes drama. If you wonder how to sound original, the answer is: revise and revise." Novakovitch

Think of revising your work in the way a sculptor approaches his art - the early drafts of piece only represent the initial shaping, after that there is a continual process of chipping away until the true shape is revealed. The writer does have one advantage over the sculptor of course; it is much easier to add something!

Revising comprises many elements: changing, correcting, adding, deleting, substituting and polishing. It is through careful and thorough revision that a fully developed story emerges.

Everyone has their own way of approaching the task of revision, here is a typical process, you may develop your own variation.

Stage One - Cooling off

It is always useful to give yourself a break between the first draft and subsequent revisions - a few days, a few weeks, a few months even; the longer the better. With time away from the pages you will gain distance from the text. When you come back to it you will be able to read it more as an editor who is working on someone else’s script. Sometimes, if you revise and revise without a break, you become so familiar with the text that you can't spot anything wrong.

Before starting the revision, prioritise it - deal with the big issues first before moving on to the more minor stuff, otherwise you will waste too much time. There is no point in correcting punctuation in a passage you're going to end up cutting out.

Stage Two - The first rewrite

You can and should make radical and major revisions if necessary in subsequent drafts.

It is useful to make sure your first revision is truly a rewrite - so make your first draft in longhand, or print out your word processed document and then delete the file.

This forces you to do a proper rewrite, rather than simply tinkering with text on a computer screen.

In the first rewrite you’re looking for the big stuff, asking yourself questions like:

• What's the story and how does the plot work?
• What are the most important events and scenes?
• Are all the characters necessary?

Once you know what the big scenes are you can 'unpack' them - expand them, let them breathe.

After rough rewrites of the big scenes, look for the most effective transitions - the way to take the reader from one big scene to another. Think about what information the reader will need and where the best place is to put it.

Whatever there is that does not contribute to the understanding of the story - cut it out!

Stage Three - Revision

This is where you find out whether you are a putter inner or a taker outer. Or both!

Some writers write vast quantities in the first drafts and then cut vast quantities in the revision, while others might write a condensed first draft, than add where necessary to expand the scenes.

Stage Four - Micro-revision (the polishing)

Read your work aloud!

This is so often missed but is a great way to get a feel for how your work sounds. You will be surprised at what you will spot after reading it out loud to yourself.

This is when you get to the final polishing of the story, cleansing it of any unnecessary and superfluous words.

You want each sentence, each word to count.

Think about each adjective and adverb and decide if they really add anything, they are often unnecessary.

Delete dialogue tags that are not required to identify the speaker.

Cut out the clichés.

Spelling – obviously.

Check paragraphs and sentences and punctuation – keep it simple!

Punctuation is there to help the reader understand the words; to help achieve a rhythm, to indicate pauses. It is fundamental to good writing.

It is always useful to have a book of grammar handy when you are revising. Although, if you know what you are doing, don’t be afraid to experiment.

Vary the sentence length. This prevents your story from becoming monotonous; try to alternate between simple and complex sentences.

Get rid of repetitions and simplify the language, make it direct.

Stage Five - Knowing when to stop!

Stop revising when every change you think about making only seem to weaken the story.

This is the point where it can be useful to get feedback from someone else, someone you can trust to give an honest opinion - a writers' workshop perhaps.

Revision checklist

It is useful when revising to go through the text looking for specific issues, one at a time. If you try to do everything at once you can end up frustrated. The checklist below summarises everything we have covered in these sessions. Some topics will be relevant, some will not.

Plot

Does enough happen in your story? Something must. Not necessarily huge, but dramatic and significant.

Is the story structured around a conflict? Can this conflict be summarised easily? What is this struggle about? This is the theme - the struggle should be related to the theme.

Is the conflict introduced early enough to hook the reader? Preferably as a crisis in the first couple of pages. Do you sustain the conflict as a tension for long enough, through most of the story?

Is the conflict carried to its logical conclusion? Does the ending make sense in light of the beginning?

Can you identify the key event and its climax? This is the turning point, where the protagonist's choice becomes clear and everything speeds towards a conclusion.

Does the story give enough information on the causes of the main event? Whatever happens in the story must make sense.

Are the scenes presented in the most effective order? Is the plot easy to follow?

Character

Who are the protagonists/antagonists?

Are they developed and complex?

Do you understand your characters?

Are the flat characters too clichéd?

Do the characters encounter any obstacles? Are they tough enough?

Does your main character change or come to some crucial insight in the course of the story?

Setting

Is the setting appropriate and authentic?

Does the setting work in tandem with the characters and the plot?

Is the setting presented gradually, along with the characters and action? Or is it all dumped on the reader in one big chunk?

Have you used the setting for special effects like mood expression, beautiful images and/or a change of pace?

Point of view

Are you using the most effective point of view?

Does the point of view shift at all? Do you want it to?

Do you enter too many heads during the story?

Who is the narrator talking to?

Timing

Does the story start at the right time? Or too early (before the main action)? Or too late?

Identify your first crisis moment and start with that.

Does the story end at the right moment?

Do you cover too much time in the story, or too little?

Check your tenses, are they consistent?

Scene and dialogue

Is the dialogue natural?

Do the voices sound different to each other?

Does the dialogue achieve its main functions: advancing the plot, demonstrating character and indicating relationships, while sounding realistic?

Have you avoided using adverbs when describing dialogue?

Are the right scenes dramatised and the right ones summarised? (Remember, the key event should usually be dramatised.)

Are all the scenes different enough?

If something stands out as you read it, think about cutting it, no matter how good the writing is. It may be that it is only because the writing attracts you that you have left the section in. This is not a good enough reason!

Description

Do you 'show' enough?

Do you describe things and characters in a fresh way?

Are your metaphors interesting and relevant?

Do the descriptions engage our senses?

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